Welcome to @DuL$TR!ke's Blog - Humor,Nice Joke, Funny,Lawak , Lucu, Song ,Lagu, Nice Tips

You Know You're in College When...Maybe True Maybe Not!!!

2008-03-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered "early".

2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.

3. Weekends start on Thursday.

4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.

5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.

6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.

7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.

8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.

9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.

10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.

11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.

12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.

13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.

14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.

15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.

16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.

17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.

18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.

20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.

21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

22. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.

23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.

25. Quarters are like gold.

26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.

27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...

29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.

30. You ask people what YOU did last night.

31. Certain things are now deemed "Facebook worthy." When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.

32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.

33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.

34. You sleep more in class than in your room

35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.

36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.

37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.

38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.

39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.

40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.

41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).

42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.

43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.

44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.

45. Going to the library is a social event.

46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.

47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.

48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.

49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.

50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.

51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.

52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.

53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.

54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.

55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.

56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.

57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.

58. Most of your T.A.'s are foreign...what's the deal?

59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.

61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.

62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.

63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.

64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.

65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.

66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.

67. Two words: bike cops.

68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.

69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.

70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.

72. You've paid bills over $5... in coins.

73. You can't imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ i-pod.

74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "dressy" at certain occasions... like school.

75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.

76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.

77. Your professors speak English... as a second language.

78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.

79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.

80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they're free.

81. Betta fish are like your family.

82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.

83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing...

84. The elevators take forever but you'll wait 10 minutes just so you don't have to climb stairs.

85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they're standing 5 feet away from the door.

86. Showers become more of an issue.

87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.

88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.

89. Class size doubles on exam days.

90. You donate plasma even though you know it's pretty sketchy.

91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.

92. You've bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you're too broke.

93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.

94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it's too cold to walk home.

95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.

96. There's always a "question kid" in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.

97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don't have to wash your own.

98. Laundry is an all-day event.

99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.

100. It's illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.

101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.

102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.

103. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.

104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.

106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.

107. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.

108. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.

109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.

110. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.

111. You text faster than you type.

112. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.

113. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.

114. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.

115. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.

116. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”

117. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.

118. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..

Funny Q&A, enjoy it!!!

2008-03-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if
it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a
day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess WHERE it would have bitten?!!!!! !!!!!!!
A: The boyfriend's hand!

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan
removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net...

Corporate Lesson, Read it!!!

2008-03-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story : - If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story : - If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep and a administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story : - Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: - "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story : - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story : - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net...

Flight Announcement, really funny!!!

2008-03-20T03:38:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1.From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

2.Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

3.After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

4.As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!"

5.After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

6.From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."

7."Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."

8."Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

9."As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

10."Last one off the plane must clean it."

11.From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."

12.This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

13.Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

14.An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?"

1.After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

16.Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..Thanks to SiaugauZ for thi nice jokes..

How To Check If Your Man Is A Virgin...

2008-03-20T03:35:00.000-07:00

"A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Kuala Lumpur . Before she left, her mother gave her some advice.

"Daughter, when you're in KL and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following requirements Mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', not 'spendthrift' and must be a 'virgin'."

With this advise from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to her kampung to get her mother's blessings to marry.

"Mother, I've met my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?".

Her mother nodded in agreement.

"Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, we shared one room only. Isn't he not spendthrift guy?"

For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern.

"And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin".

"How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked.

"Mmm....his 'that one' is new......still wrapped up in plastic,mum!"

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..Thanks to oucheev..

How to test that who is the intelligent...

2008-03-20T03:29:00.000-07:00

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair!"

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thanks to itsmelisa...

How to properly assess and place your new employee...

2008-03-20T03:21:00.000-07:00

Put 400 bricks in a closed room. with all of your new hires and close the door. Leave them alone for 6 hours, then analyze teh situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management .

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.

*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thanks to Dark Steno..

Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women!!!

2008-03-20T03:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the reasons that proves Beer is Better than Women: rclxm9.gif

1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football. thumbup.gif

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. thumbup.gif

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer. thumbup.gif

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer. thumbup.gif

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. thumbup.gif

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality. thumbup.gif

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. thumbup.gif

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer. thumbup.gif

27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it. thumbup.gif

30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

31. A beer does not come with in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party. thumbup.gif

38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought. thumbup.gif

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't. thumbup.gif

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn. thumbup.gif

46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily. thumbup.gif

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning. thumbup.gif

51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight. thumbup.gif

53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month. laugh.gif

Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thank to b3rnard7...

Things You Don't Want To Hear, During A Surgery!!!

2008-03-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

Things that you don't want to hear from the surgeons when they're performing a surgery.

1. Oops!

2. Can't you stop that damn thing from beating!!? It's throwing of my concentration!

3. Could you please pass me the uhhhh....thingie....

4. Hey where did the scapel go?

5. I bet I could remove his heart and put it back in place without killing him.

6. What do you mean he's not here for a sex change operation!!???

7. A liver like this could fetch a hefty sum in the black market you know

8. A blackout!? Darn I can't see a thing, light up the candles

9. Wait, if his kidney is still there, then what's this we've just removed?

10. FIRE!!!EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Taken from forum.lowyat.net..cool forum..

Coca Cola - infos, facts and fictions!!!

2008-03-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

I found this very interesting. So, are you a fan of Coke? If yes, then this might interest you!

Infos, facts and fictions or maybe myths….all related to Coca Cola.

1. The color of Coca Cola was originally green!*

2. Coca Cola was originated by a pharmacist (Doctor John Pembert) as a drug to cure depression.

3. Coca Cola once being made from cocaine and also had alcohol in it.

4. Coca Cola was originally made form Coca-leaves (cocaine-plant) and Cola-nuts (which grow in Africa).

5. When coke commercialized, the cocaine and alcohol where left out and the original recipe was replaced by the "7X"-formula.

6. Coke can be used to relieve the sting from Jelly Fish.

7. Coke also can be used to relieve hiccups.

8. Coke can be used as tanning lotion.

9. Coke can be used to make a new photo look antique. Just soak in it!

10. Coke also can be used to remove gum from gum coated hair.

11. The Navy uses Coke to help preserve it's submarines.

12. If you put a can of diet Coca Cola and a can of regular Coca Cola in a swimming pool….. the can of regular Coke will sink, but the can of Diet
Coke will float!

13. Coke can be used to clean ancient bronze coins.

14. Coke is a perfect grout cleaner for tile floors.

15. Coke can remove fishy smell from clothes.

16. Coke can be used to remove oil stains from concrete driveways or garages.

17. Coke can also be used to remove stains from carpet. (Even permanent marker stain)

18. Coke can makes your lawn grass greener.

19. Coke can ease cold symptoms. (Add with some fresh ginger)

20. Uncarbonated cake can heel nauseated.

21. Coke can power up your accumulator (storage battery)

22. Coke can also remove blood stains.

23. Coke can get rid of rats!

24. Coke can clean/remove corrosion (rusting).

25. Coke is used to clean toilet bowl.

Taken from forum.lowyat.net(-br0k3n-)..cool forum...

Strange Happenings In A Hospital,Really funny,must read it!!!!

2008-03-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

There was this case in this hospital's
Intensive Care ward where
patients always died in the same bed
on Friday mornings around 9am
regardless of their age, gender,
medical history or medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even
thought that it had to do with
the
supernatural: Why did death occur at
that same bed around the same time
every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to
that particular ward to
investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the
hospital ward nervously waited for
the terrible phenomenon to occur
again. The new (unknowing) patient
laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses,
prayer books and other holy objects
to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the
door to the ward swung open...

Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday
cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life
support system so that she can use the
vacuum cleaner..

Interview Gone Wrong, A Must See!!!

2008-03-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

Watch the clip, pay no mind on the title....

Questions with weird answers, funny!!!

2008-03-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

Are the questions really tough???

Starbucks Coffee vs Setarbak Kopi

2008-03-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

Which one is famous?

Cool Pic!!!

Fakta Pemain Bolasepak Piala Dunia 2006, lawak gak!!!

2008-03-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

1. Pemain paling banyak meludah di padang = Florent Malouda - France

2. Pemain paling suka makan lepat = Frank Lampard - England

3. Pemain yang menguruskan 3 pos ofis = Helder Postiga - Portugal

4. Pengurus pasukan yang suka berlari = Luis Philipe Scolari - Portugal

5. Pemain yang main bolasepak dan ping-pong = Razak Pimpong - Ghana

6. Pemain bolasepak juga kawan baik Batman = Robin ho - Brazil

7. Pemain bolasepak yang juga macam Batman = Mathias Kezman - Serbia Montenegro

8. Pemain yang tak pernah miss bayar bil = Adabayour - Togo

9. Pemain yang main bolasepak dan biola = Saviola - Argentina

10 . Pemain bolasepak yang paling manis = Maniche - Portugal

11 . Pemain yang selalu terluka di padang = Luca Toni - Italy

Lessons in Logic,Think about it???

2008-03-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody's perfect……
So why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.

The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station….

What more can I say……..

Taking leave, funny!!!

2008-03-20T01:21:00.000-07:00

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this.....)

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."

Father & His Son, funny!!!

2008-03-20T01:19:00.000-07:00

A father is teaching simple maths to his 5 yr old son.

Father, "Son, how many people are there in your classroom?"

Son, "Including the teacher, 31."

Father, "So without the teacher, there are 30 people left in the classroom?"

Son, "Nope! Without the teacher, there will be NO one left in the classroom!"

The dad was lost for words.

8 Ways to scare a telemarketer...

2008-03-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Very useful article!!!

50 Interesting Facts about WOMAN...

2008-03-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't stick?"

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

32. The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here

2007 INTERNATIONAL HUSBAND OF THE YEAR AWARDS!!!

2008-03-19T21:24:00.001-07:00

3rd Place: Albania

2nd Place: Serbia

The winner of the husband of the year is: Ireland

The kids nowadays so advance....

2008-03-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

What a suprise of children now!!!

Malaysian CSI,funny!!!

2008-03-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Ahmed died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body.

As he had no family, they called up his two best friends, Ah Beng and Kumar. Ah Beng went in first and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Ah Beng said, "Wah-lau-eh, he's very barbecued like cha siu. But if you would roll him over, I will tell you if he's my friend Ahmed or not." The mortician rolled the body over.

Ah Beng looked at his ass and said, "Heng-ah! No-lah, dat not Ahmed." The mortician was puzzled how he was so sure but he didn't say anything. He went and got Kumar to check the body.

Kumar looked closely and said, "Aiyoyo, it is true he's burnt very bad, but need you to roll him over and I can confirm if he's my friend, Ahmed." Again the mortician rolled the body over. Kumar looked down at the ass and said, "Aiyoyo, oh no no, this is definitely not Ahmed."

The mortician, unable to suppress his curiosity any longer, said, "Okay, you have to tell me now - how can you and Ah Beng tell for sure this is not Ahmed?"
Kumar said, "Well, this Ahmed, he had two assholes." "What?!!" the mortician said in disbelief, "He had two assholes?!!" "Oh yes, everyone in the neighbourhood knows this. Every time the three of us go out, people always say, 'Here comes Ahmed with the two assholes'."

CONVERSATION BY LANGUAGE,funny!!!!

2008-03-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.

Consul : What is your name?Arab: Abdul Aziz Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,...isn't it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh...dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

A Wife's Diary vs Husband's Diary....

2008-03-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

WIFE's DIARY

Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HUSBAND's DIARY

Today Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!

So true in the 21st century...

2008-03-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

our broadband = broadless

Our Salary - Very less!!!

Our pocket - Pennyless

Our politicians - brainless

Our future - futureless

our car - standardless

our road - smoothless

our motorist - patienceless

Our complain - Endless

bra = strapless

suffering = endless

our petrol -noless!!!

PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI...

2008-03-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

Suami bin Lelaki
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.

Isteri binti Perempuan
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.

31 April 2006

Puan,

PERKARA : PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI

Perkara di atas adalah di rujuk.

2. Sebab utama permohonan ini di lakukan adalah kerana saya ingin melengkapkan kuota yang telah di peruntukkan bagi saya. Buat masa ini kuota yang telah di isi cuma satu, memandangkan masih ada 3 kekosongan, eloklah jika dapat di penuhi secepat mungkin. Pihak yang akan mengisi satu kekosongan ini buat masa ini ialah Cik Hana Fazura binti Ramli yang
merupakan setiausaha saya di pejabat. Memandangkan komitmen yang beliau tunjukkan di pejabat amat baik, eloklah jika kita masukkan dia bersama kita di dalam organisasi keluarga kita. Kekosongan yang selebihnya akan di isi di masa akan datang.

3. Untuk makluman pihak puan, yang sebenarnya masalah ini telah lama saya fikirkan tetapi memandangkan poket saya yang selalu nipis, terpaksalah saya tangguhkan dulu permohonan ini di samping kurangnye rasa keyakinan untuk mengemukakan permohonan ini. Kini, setelah saya dapat mengeluarkan kesemua duit pelaburan ASB saya, saya merasakan kembalinya semangat saya yang telah hilang selama ini.

4. Permohonan ini amat setimpal kerana dengan kedudukan sekarang ia menguntungkan kedua belah pihak dan juga pihak ketiga. Selama ini hidup kita bahagia sebab jika tidak, manakan mungkin puan dapat menjadi seperti sekarang. Semua yang puan miliki sudah bertambah besar. Kereta besar, rumah besar, rantai besar dan pakaian besar. Jika dulu potongan puan seperti gitar, kini sudah bertukar menjadi drum. Oleh itu, sudilah kiranya dapat kita kongsi bersama insan lain kebahagiaan kita ini.

5. Pihak puan juga dapat menikmati faedah dari kelulusan permohonan ini kerana puan akan tetap menikmati apa yang telah puan miliki sekarang dengan waktu bekerja lebih singkat dan sistem syif akan di perkenalkan iaitu 1 hari kerja dan 1 hari cuti rehat. Waktu bekerja yang selebihnya akan ditampung oleh pihak ketiga. Kebaikan yang puan akan nikmati ialah waktu rehat yang bebas kerana dalam waktu puan bercuti, saya selaku Penyelia tidak akan memantau aktiviti yang puan lakukan. Pada waktu itu saya cuma akan fokus kepada hasil kerja pihak ketiga. Menguntungkan bukan?

6. Segala kerjasama dari pihak puan saya dahulukan dengan ribuan terima kasih. Saya amat berharap pihak puan dapat meluluskan permohonan saya ini kerana adalah lebih baik jika kita dapat berkongsi kebahagiaan kita ini bersama insan lain. Saya harap permohonan saya ini di balas dengan senyuman penuh keikhlasan dari pihak puan dan tandatangan puan di atas kertas yang saya lampirkan bukannya balingan periuk nasi, pinggan-mangkuk, ketukan senduk dan perkara-perkara yang menyukarkan pihak puan untuk melakukannya.

7. Saya harap puan sudi meluluskan permohonan ini. Hadirkanlah senyumanmu sebagaimana ketika kita menyambut orang baru iaitu bayi kita kedalam keluarga kita 10 tahun lepas. Situasinya lebih kurang sama dengan masa kini. Kita akan menerima orang baru juga cuma bezanya ialah jika 10 tahun yang lepas kita perlu menjaga dan membelainya dengan manja bersama tetapi kali ini, setiap urusan penjagaan dan belaian manja akan di laksanakan oleh saya sepenuhnya.

8. Akhir kata, saya harap permohonan saya ini dapat dibalas secepat mungkin. Semoga kita bersama-bersama dengan pihak ketiga akan dapat melaksanakan program ini dengan jayanya.

Sekian, Terima Kasih.

"BERKORBAN DAN BERKONGSI KEBAHAGIAAN LAMBANG RUMAHTANGGA BAHAGIA"

Yang Ikhlas Memohon,

Suami bin Lelaki

The Tallest vs The Shortest

2008-03-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

what a lucky famous man!!!

SEVEN WONDERS OF MALAYSIA BOLEH, 7 keajaiban Malaysia Boleh!!!

2008-03-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Here in MALAYSIA BOLEH land we have our very own 7 wonders:

1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'
The only building built with no approval and unpaid
assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The
owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own
a palace.

2. THE 'BOCOR' PARLIAMENT
The unique feature is its ability to 'leak' away
billions of taxpayers money while the guardians of
the nation stood there all wet.

3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON
The only $600M prison in this world that is free of
haunted stories and encounters. Reasons No execution
was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held
in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed
wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it
can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with
real money.

4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS
The nation's premier eco-tourism park holds the
record in the category of attracting more lawyers
with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed,
it does everything except alleviate floods.

6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA
The one and only high tech city in the world that
offers limited or no internet connection to its
residents.

7. CROOKED 'CROOKED' BRIDGE
The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by a
most crooked mind. Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise
it would make it as one of the wonders.

LATEST 8th WONDER :
1ST MALAYSIAN ASTRO MAN BLASTED OFF TO NOWHERE WITH MILLIONS OF
RAKYAT MONEY BURNT IN 10 DAYS FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPACE EXPEDITION HAS
ENTER INTO THE MALAYSIAN GUINESS BOOK RECORD AT 10 PM ON 0CT 10, 2007.
BRAVO!
( p.s. NO WONDERS - PRICES today had increased "NAIK , NAIK, NAIK " in
2007....look and see....for sure....garanteeeeeee....tahun depan minyak
mestiiiiiiii naik punya....this year cannot naik....sebab sudah promise-mah...!!!! tahun depan sure naik like soyuz pecut...dasyhat looo....
HANYA DAP ROCKET - TAK BOLEH NAIK !!

Before & After Marriage, funny!!!

2008-03-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

Before Marriage:

He: Yes. At last, it was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After Marriage:

Now read this from bottom to top.

International Dating Procedure...

2008-03-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

AMERICAN WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.
Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

JAPANESE WOMEN
First date: She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.
Second date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her
panties.
Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her.
Then she'll bid you sayonara, as that was her last fling as she's
getting married to a Japanese man tomorrow.

MALAY WOMEN
First date: You get to touch that big breast of hers.
Second date: You get to home base with her.
Third date: You have to promise her that you are going to get circumcised.
Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole
family.
The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three more
times as allowed under Islamic law!

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing
happens too.
Third date: You have already realized that nothing's going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: You meet her parents.
Second date: The date is set for the wedding.
Third date: It's your wedding night!

HONG KONG WOMEN
First date: you lose all your cash in your wallet
Second date: you max out all your credit cards
Third date: you clean out your bank account
and you still can't get to first base. 3 weeks after your third date,
you die from SARS.

Call Center's Joke...

2008-03-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Part 1

Part 2

Enjoy this..Really Funny!!!

Nice Question!!!

2008-03-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'.

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'.

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'..She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.

'Do you have vagina'.......'Yes' she says...... The man replies.. 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours.'

How To Eat In a Sushi Bar

2008-03-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

Nice Video..Enjoy!!!

Night Courses's JOke....

2008-03-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job.

During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.

Then Ah Beng started show off...

Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...

Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...

Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

Geli Mat, Tamil video with malay subtitle...

2008-03-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hear it and enjoy!!!

Stumpy and his Wife....

2008-03-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Einstein and his Chauffeur

2008-03-19T10:50:00.001-07:00

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!" When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

"Chimpeng" @k@ CIMB Bank

2008-03-19T10:41:00.000-07:00

I was looking for an empty space to
park my car at Bangsar when suddenly
there's a knock on the glass

'Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng
mana ah..?'

'Apa?'

'Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya
itu guard ah.. dia ckaap sini ada satu
Chimpeng...'

'Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa
tempat itu Chimpeng?'

'Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya
mau pigi angkat wang la...'

'Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?
Along ka?'

'Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun
tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu
Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng...itu
balu punya Peng..'

Adoi...bengap punya apek..buat aku
pening je..dia actually cari CIMB
Bank ..

7 Sai’s Ways To Survive In Your Office, Workplace Also Can....

2008-03-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

For those who have no idea who is Sai…Sai (not the Sai, shit, in Hokkien) is an anime character in Naruto Shippuuden who places completion of missions more than the safety of his teammates.
Below are the 7 ways or moves of Sai that any office worker can use to survive in his or her office environment.

1. Looking (Acting) Cool
Sai is really cool when he’s not smiling. With a hand covering his mouth, only his sexy, telling eyes are revealed. Looking cool can get you the girls, especially the young chicks, in your office. Acting cool will draw compliments from your lady boss and it presents an image that you are always confident, whether it is true or not, we don’t know.
For the ladies, looking cool can project an image that you are a real challenge, that is, to the guys who desire to woo you. Trust me, simple-minded guys like challenges.

2. Be Offensive
When Sai first met Naruto, he didn’t greet Naruto with a handshake. Instead, he provoked Naruto with a challenge. Being offensive can help you to project an image that you are not some weak, puny figure or in Chinese is”????????” which loosely translates to “If the tiger don’t roar, you all will treat me as a Scaredy Cat.”
Being offensive also exhibits that you are in control of everything, even if you don’t actually possess the power.

3. Unbiasness
When it comes to giving titles to his artistic creations, Sai is simply genius. Sai named every piece of his artwork, “Untitled”, which means no title is given to any art piece. In a sense, he is unbiased as he treats every piece of his art equally. You can learn this art by starting to treat your chio (pretty) female colleagues and the grouchy kopi auntie (coffee lady) the same. Next time, just remember to ask your kopi auntie to the movies. She’ll be damn happy.

4. Total Selfishness
Sai always places completing missions at the very top of his to-do list, and he doesn’t give a damn to the safety of his teammates. Meeting deadlines and completing tasks faster than anybody in your office will sure guarantee you a special spot in your boss’ heart. If your peers got into any trouble, just simply ignore them (anyway it’s not your business).

5. Badmouthing
Sai dismisses Naruto as a boy without a penis and Sakura as a b****. Straight slapping of someone in the face has to be executed with extreme caution. This move is always used by one of higher position or authority than the others. If you are of the lowest rank in your company, this Sai’s way is definitely out of your league as you’ll get yourself killed, much faster.

6. Backstabbing
In future episodes of Naruto Shippuuden, Sai is labeled as a backstabber. Again, backstabbing someone is relatively easy but to backstab without letting your victims know it’s you is an expertise. The best is to provide support and comfort to your victims when you’ve backstabbed them. In this way, they’ll appreciate you even more.
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7. Wearing A Fake Smile
Sai has not perfected the art of wearing a fake smile or faking smiles yet. Nevertheless, this last Sai’s way proves to be the best solution to get you out of sticky situations. A smile can cover your real emotions. We got a Chinese saying of”?????”, translates to “A smile hides a dagger”. When you are tired at work, smile. When you are in the wrong, smile. When you want your colleagues to die, smile. It really helps.
Mastering the above 7 Sai’s moves, ways or skills takes time, patience and practice. The only way to know if any of the moves works is to test it out in your working environment but remember, not in the expense of your job.

7 Kinds Of Sex....

2008-03-19T10:19:00.000-07:00

The 1st kind of sex is called: 'Smurf Sex'
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: 'Kitchen Sex'
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: 'Bedroom Sex'
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: 'Hallway Sex'
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: 'Religious Sex'
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called: 'Courtroom Sex'
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least:
The 7th kind of sex is called: 'Social Security Sex.' You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self.

Teaching English

2008-03-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

Enjoy it....

Standard Questions during Interview

2008-03-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What did you most enjoy about your last job?
3. How would your colleagues or supervisor describe you?
4. What can you offer us that other people cannot?
5. What about this job attracts you? What is unattractive?
6. How long do you see yourself with us?
7. How would you describe an ideal working environment?

Standard interview questions might not seem difficult, but your answer to each should be polished and sharp. Craft responses and practice them before your interview so that they roll off your tongue when you face the interviewer. Effective responses answer questions honestly, positively, and briefly, highlighting important qualities and accomplishments that are relevant to the position at hand. Give examples to illustrate and corroborate your statements when possible. Your responses should work together, making connections between what you have previously done, the available position, and your goals.

Tell me about yourself.
Ineffective: I am a hard-worker who is good with numbers. After I worked as a financial analyst for a few years, I decided to go to law school. I just finished and now am looking for a new challenge.

Effective: I began developing skills relevant to financial planning when I worked as a financial analyst for three years. In that role, I succeeded in multiplying the wealth of my clients by carefully analyzing the market for trends. The return on the portfolios I managed was generally 2% more than most of the portfolios managed by my company. My initiative, planning, and analytic skills were rewarded by two promotions. As the manager of a team, I successfully led them to develop a more efficient and profitable strategy for dealing with new accounts. My subsequent training in the law, including tax law and estate law, gives me an informed view of what types of investments and charitable gifts would be most advantageous for your clients.

What did you most enjoy about your last job?
Ineffective: I liked lots of things-the people, the challenge, the rewards. Sometimes we had to work long hours, but it always seemed to pay off.

Effective: Of the many things that I enjoyed, I would say that the strategic aspects of my job most energized me. I liked setting concrete performance goals for myself and finding ways to meet them. I similarly enjoyed analyzing markets for trends and identifying when would be the most beneficial time to enter or withdraw from certain funds. When I was a manager, my team and I developed a new approach to accounts that became a standard for the company. Strategizing gave my work a sense of tangible direction and accomplishment.

How would your colleagues or supervisor describe you?
Ineffective: I guess they would say that I am a hard worker who is successful.

Effective: My supervisor and colleagues have described me as a dependable worker. My supervisor has appreciated that I prioritize tasks and manage my responsibilities so that she can rely on me. My bosses tell me I have a sixth sense for markets and I learn new information and procedures quickly. These skills account for my two promotions in three years. My boss was also impressed by how I was able to lead my team.

What can you offer us that other people cannot?
Ineffective: I have a unique combination of skills. I also really want the job.

Effective: I have a track-record of multiplying wealth through investments and developing strategies with teams. Since I have a JD, I also know what legal parameters and loopholes affect families and individuals planning their finances. My CFA training not only shows that I will succeed in the CFP courses, but also gives me a broader view of why financial plans work as they do. Since I am organized and self-motivated, I will add value to the company without requiring much tending and supervision.

What about this job attracts you? What is unattractive?
Ineffective: I like that it is in the field I am targeting. I don't like the commute that it will require.

Effective: As I evaluate my skills and goals, this job maximizes on both. I will be able to merge my knowledge of law and markets while strategizing for the sound financial future of clients. Since this is a small company, I imagine that there will be opportunity for increased responsibilities and challenges. I share the values of the company. I am not eager to do much data processing, but the position is very attractive.

How long do you see yourself with us?
Ineffective: I don't want to make any hasty commitments, and I like to keep my options open. Maybe I will be here for one year, maybe for five. It depends.

Effective: I see myself here as long as we both think that I am contributing to the vitality of the company while still being grown through challenges.

How would you describe an ideal working environment?
Ineffective: A laptop and cell phone on a beach sound ideal to me. Short of that, I would like an environment in which I am able to work as I please, without much supervision.

Effective: It is important to me that my company has clear objectives and strives for success. Similarly, I like having colleagues whom I admire for their skills and perspectives. When communication is clear between colleagues, our energy becomes synergy. In addition, I find that I flourish when given discretion after having gained the trust of my supervisor.

Below is some tips for Interview:

• Be punctual
• Introduce yourself in a courteous manner and remember to smile,smlile smile!
• Read company materials while you wait.
• give a firm handshake.
• Use body language to show interest.
• Smile, nod, give nonverbal feedback to the interviewer.
• Ask about the next step in the process.
• Thank the interviewer.
• Write a thank-you letter to anyone you have spoken to.

Why Chinese People shouldnt have English names at all!!

2008-03-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Here are some of th example names:

> Anne Chang (Mandarin)- Dirty
> Anne Chin ( Mandarin) - Keep quiet
> Faye Chen (Mandarin) - Dusty
> Carl Cheng ( Hokkien ) - Buttock
> Monica Cheng ( Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
> Lucy Leow (Hokkien) - You are dead
> Jane Tan (Mandarin) - Frying eggs
> Suzie Leow ( Hokkien) - Lost till death
> Henry Mah (Mandarin) - Hate your mum
> Corrine Tai (Hokkien) - Poor fellow
> Paul Chan (Mandarin) - Bankrupt
> Nelson Tan ( Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
> Leslie Tong (Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
> Carmen Tng (Hokkien) - Leg hair long
> Connie Mah (Cantonese) - Call your mother
> Danny See (Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
> Rosie Teng (Hokkien) - Screws and nails
> Pete Tsai (Hokkien) - Nose droppings
> Macy Koh ( Cantonese) - Never die before

*It could other names that this lists...share it if u know..

Focus on Problems vs Focus on Solutions

2008-03-19T02:48:00.001-07:00

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan ' s biggest cosmetics companies.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.
Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manning by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution.
He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral of the story: always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem..
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn ' t work at zero gravity (Ink won ' t flow down to the writing surface).In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million.. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C. And what did Russians do....................??
The Russians used a Pencil !!!
So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems "If you look at what you do not have in life, you don' t have anything"
"If you look at what you have in life, you have everything"

An interesting reflection: Slow Down Culture

2008-03-19T02:43:00.000-07:00

t's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalize world.

WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ?

2008-03-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:

If you're losing good people, look to their immediate boss.Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he 's the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
"People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don 't have your heart and soul in the job."

Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.

Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn't.

By,
Azim Premji
(CEO- Wipro)

The Spilt Milk

2008-03-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

This is a story about a famous research scientist who had made several
very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a
newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much
more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from
others?

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his
mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to
remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the
slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen
floor—a veritable sea of milk!

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving
him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and
wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of
milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down
and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert,
whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and
restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that?
We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose
the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment
in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go
out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can
discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned
that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he
could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he
knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that
mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is,
after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the
experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.

Favorite Quote from Samy Vellu

2008-03-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

Arini member aku terjumpa satu post tentang "Favorite Quote from Samy Vellu" dalam forum.lowyat.net..

1) Samy Velu on pos laju "BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI"
2) The one on TV when in trying to say he was ashamed, he said:`Kemaluan saya besar`
3) On drugs, "Jangan hisap dada"
4) Samy said in a ceramah "Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini", one pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy glorious replied,"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
5) Samy's favorite quote on national television "Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"
6) During the water shortage crisis : "semua orang diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!"
7) During blood donation campaign in Sg Siput: "..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
8) During the opening speech of various function: "...selamat datang saudara-mara semua.." (actually is "saudara-saudari")
9) At an opening ceremony: "mempersilakan datin paduka rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain"
10)Commenting about his modesty: "sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"

And lastly u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire is named PLUS.

PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy

Buy One free One at GSC!!!

2008-03-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Get your one free ticket when you buy one ticket at GSC....

Ungu - Andai Ku Tahu

2008-03-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

Andai kutahu
Kapan tiba ajalku
Ku akan memohon
Tuhan tolong panjangkan umuruku

Andai kutahu
Kapan tiba masaku
Ku akan memohon
TUhan jangan Kau ambil nyawaku

Reff:
Aku takut
Akan semua dosa dosaku
Aku takut
Dosa yang terus membayangiku

Andai kutahu
MalaikatMukan menjemputku
Izinkan aku
Mengucapkan kata tobat padaMu

Ampuni aku
Dari segala dosa dosaku
Ampuni aku
Menangisku bertobat padamu

Aku manusia
Yang takut neraka
Namun aku juga
Tak pantas di surga

Download Here

Ungu - Kekasih Gelapku

2008-03-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang ku cari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu ku berikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ooh...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Download Here

Siti Nurhaliza - Destinasi Cinta

2008-03-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

Di Hati Yang Mana
Ku Temu Cinta Terindah
Kau Berikan Ku Jawapan
Tiada Lagi Persoalan

Sambut Cintaku Ini Sayang
Berselimutkan Kasih Kita
Di Ruang Hatiku Yang Terpencil
Mekar Cinta Kita Yang Akhir

Chorus

Kini
Menuju Ke Destinasi
Puncak Cinta Tertinggi
Aku Menunggumu
Aku Takkan Jemu
Kerna Cinta Itu
Termanis Bagiku

Verse 2
Mimpiku Semalam
Kau Hadir Bersama Cinta
Kau Lukiskan Dua Hati
Lambang Kasih Sayang Sejati

Kau Datang Bersama Sinar
Menyuluh Hatiku Yang Pudar
Kini Semua Kembali Berseri
Bila Kau Hadir, Ku Damba

Ulang Chorus

Bridge

Matahari Masih Jingga
Menyala Cinta Bagai Bara
Perjanjian Kita Berdua
Kekal Selama
Berdua
Berdoa
Bersama
Sayang

Ulang Chorus

Download Here

Siti Nurhaliza - Mulanya Cinta

2008-03-18T02:03:00.000-07:00

Tiada sesiapa dapat melupa
Perasaan cinta pertama
Akan ku ingat selama-lama
Saat pertama jatuh cinta

Kasih Sayang
Senyum mesra bersama
Gurau senda pujuk rayumu
Pasti ku ingati

Apapun juga akhirnya
Aku kan tetap
Mengingatimu dengan setia
Walaupun kau akan pergi
Pasti ku ingati gelora cinta
Kali pertama

Download Here

Budak Sekolah takde keja...

2008-03-18T00:08:00.001-07:00

Inilah akibatnya kalau cikgu tak masuk kelas and murid-murid takde keja nak buat...

Please give credit to lawakjenaka.com for nice pics...

Lawak Tanpa Permit

2008-03-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

Arini terjumpa plak satu blog tentang lawak...ini antara lawak yg menarik and maybe kita pernah dengar...

Dalam sidang parlimen yg lepas Dtk Seri S. Samy Vellu yg juga Presiden MIC telah berjaya menyelesaikan kemelut isu AP antara bekas PM Tun Dr. Mahathir dengan Menteri MITI Dtk Seri Rafidah Aziz. Idea beliau sangat bernas dengan memasukkan fakta persaudaraan dan persefahaman. Berikut adalah kenyataan beliau yang telah diringkaskan. "Tuan yg Dipertua, Selaku menteri kabinet, ali Barisan Nasyenel dan Presiden YemAiSi... saya teylah berbincangkan Wissyu AP ini dalam mesyuarat YemAiSi yang lipas dingan sepanjang lebarnya. Akhirnya YemAiSi dengan sebulat-bulatnya suara tilah mencadangkan kepada Yangamaberomat Pedanamentri supayye wisyu wini disilisaikan dingan simangat pesefaman dan persodaran yang kekal antara Rafidah sama TuMahadey. Ini idea tilahpun lama diterimapakey woleh suummmmmmmmmma ali-ali YemA! iSi termaso ali kuluarga saya sindirri. Maka dingan ini YemAiSi dengan amat paling bangganya kasi wumumkan yang kami dari YemAisi mencadangkan supaya dengan tanpa silu-segannya Menteri MITI misti mau kasi guna ini nama mula dari sekarang... RAFIDAH A/P MAHATHIR."

Untuk lawak tanpa permit yang lain..sila layari Lawak Tanpa Permit

Fakta-Fakta Menarik

2008-03-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

Sambil boring-boring surfing kt internet aku terjumpa lak satu website tentang "Fakta-Fakta Menarik".Kat bawah ni ade contoh2 fakta-fakta yang kita kadang kala tak tahu:

1.Semut boleh mengangkat 50 kali ganda dan menarik 30 kali ganda dari berat badannya

2.Kelawar selalunya membeluk ke kiri apabila keluar dari gua.

3.Hanya 0.016 mg toksin yang dikeluarkan oleh "Poison Frog" (katak beracun) boleh membunuh 180-paun manusia

4.Seekor lebah perlu menghisap 4,000 kuntum bunga untuk mendapatkan satu sudu besar madu.

5.Kambing mempunyai anak mata yang berbentuk segi empat tepat.

Kalau nak fakta-fakta lain yang menarik,layarila laman web dier..http://www.jphpk.gov.my/Malay/facts.htm

Tournament Bowling Pertama ku..18 Nov 2007

2008-03-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hari ni tournament pertama ku (9 pin) kt South City Plaza,kt mane ntah serdang kot.ramai yg join dlm 27 org la.Tempat tu memang jauh gak dari kl and xde lrt or komuter dkt c2.tgk jerla jumlah org yg join..hehe

Bayaran pun okla rm25 utk 3 game.tp tula tempat dier mmg panas giler la sbb diorg x pakai air cond,pastu letak kipas besar gabak tu,kdg2 kena kdg x.so mmg berpeluh giler cam main bola sepak kt padang la..huhuhu

First game okla,pastu msk game 2 ngan 3 terus hancus...tp xla msk longkang jer.tp xpe sbb first time kan..tp yg teruknye aku dpt no last..isyh..kenala praktis lg lps ni,mmg x leh bg can dah kt diorg..ceh,berlagak la plak..semangat beb.mmber aku yg lain okla sbb diorg mmg dh biase main..

tp main 9 pin aku rase xla brp best sgt sbb jatuh 9 pin je dh strike..kira "strike cam ayam" la.klu main 10 pin barula mencabar kan..200 pun x cecah kadang2..

xper apepun kite tgk tournament yg akan datang..tq zam@kematz sbb bwk aku kt sane,xdela boring sgt weekend ni..

kepada zie ngan aleng,nice to meet you all..cheers

Kali Pertama Ke Pulau Redang...

2008-03-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hi semua..nila first time aku g pulau redang kt ganu.tqvm kt bos aku sbb sponsor kitorg nyer company vacation ke redang..mmg best giler.kitorg g naik air asia dr lcct,kejap je dlm 45 min.x rase ape pun cam naik bas jer...pastu kitorg naik bas g jeti ape ntah aku pun dah lupa sbb dh lama pg,bln 7 kot..naik feri dkt 1 jam suku gak.mula2 tu pun pening gak sbb duduk jer pastu dok sblh org yg x kenal..nasib baik x muntah klu x malu jer..

sampai jer kt resort laguna redang,diorg bg welcome drink.air limau bagi hilang pening lalat tu..pastu kenala register and check in kt blk.dlm kul 2.30 kitorg start la activiti snorkeling.yerla klu g redang memang asyik snorkeling jerla..

tp kali ni mmg teruk giler,aku muntah abis ape yg aku mkn td..sbb dh byk sgt telan air laut..dh mcm ikan kembung pun ade..tp pastu lega giler sbb sumer dh abis kuar..

nanti smbung lagila,letih lak menulih ni..hehe..

Chantek - Altimet Feat Adeep Fabulous Cats

2008-03-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Hey wanita
Gembira dapat berjumpa
Teringat kembali kali pertama kita bersua
Ingat bila kita bersepatu serupa
Tak lama dahulu jangan kau kata kau dah lupa

Kau bersama kawan-kawan muda yang nyata
Kau paling menyerlah di antara mereka
Rambut hitam warna cokelat anak mata
Membuat aku kurang fasih bila bicara

Apakata kita ambil sedikit masa
Untuk mengenali sesama kita dengan lanjutnya
Dan jika kau rasa apa yang ku rasa
Ayuh kita ke bab kedua dan seterusnya

Chantek
Dirimu buat ku tertarik
Menghilang segala prasangka
Di jiwa
Ohh chantek
Sungguh aku cinta kamu

Dia
Pandai menjaga hati ayah dan ibunya
Kelakuannya sama dengan orang tuaku juga
Dia
Bisa cipta yg gula dari yang cuka
Pandai menukar yg duka kepada suka
Dia
Bijak mengatur acara dan juga masa
Cekap memasak garam gula secukup rasa
Dia
Pandai menjaga harta dan juga duitnya
Tetap anggun tanpa mendedahkan kulitnya
Dia
Setia pada Yang Esa satu-satunya
Memenuhi tanggungjawab 5 waktunya
Dia
Punya tempat dalam rancangan yg ku rangka
Tak usah lengah
Ayuh kita berumah tangga

Chantek
Sechantek suria menyinar
Seindah bunga yang di taman..mekar
Chantek
Dirimu buat ku tertarik
Menghilang segala prasangka
Di jiwa
Oohhh chantekk
Sungguh aku cinta kamu

Aku
Melihat kita bersama di hari tua
Dia
Masih satu tiada empat tiga atau dua
Dan walaupun kau sudah kepudaran rupa
Kau tetap cantik padaku aku tak lupa
Kita bersama di anjung luangkan masa
Kewangan kita merdeka mampu bersara
Hasil usaha kita dari masa dahulu
Cukup untuk mengisi perut anak dan cucu
Hidup santai tak perlu terburu-buru
Punya masa kerja ibadah dan juga ilmu
Anak kita dan ayahya semua sebulu
Aku bilang kau chantek dan mereka setuju

Chantek
Sechantek suria menyinar
Seindah bunga yang di taman..mekar
Chantek
Dirimu buat ku tertarik
Menghilang segala prasangka di jiwa
Ohh chantek
Sungguh aku cinta kamu

Download

15 March 2008

2008-03-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

arini sorang lagi office mate aku kahwin..kitorang pegila kenduri dier kt Bandar Baru Bangi.Punyer la besar hadiah yg kitorang bagi kat dier..guess what?kitorang bagi microwave oven..hehe..sebelum tu aku pegi umah member aku dulu kat kajang,pegi sekali ngan dier la..nasib baik nk sampai tu tak ujan..pastu kitorang terus gerak ke umah pengantin.sampai jer kat sane,budak2 kompang dah nak balik..huhu..terlepas la nak tgk pengantin berarak..anyway xpela,sampai2 je kitorang terus makan.Lapar tul,yela pagi tak breakfast..byk gakla mkn nyer..hehehe..

Lepas makan tu,posing2 la skt ngan pengantin kt atas pelamin..masing2 amik nombor la nk amik gambar..ramai gak member2 pengantin yang datang..dah abis bergambar sumer,pastu masing2 apa lagi blk la..

"Buah Tangan dari Pengantin"

aku ngan member terus gerak ke "Metro Point" kat kajang.shopping complex tu baru je buka..lif dier pun mcm tak siap lagi..shopping complex dier takla besar sangat and kedai2 pun tak baynak lagi..Tapi tujuan utama kitorang datang situ sebab nak test bowling dier "Ampang Bowl"..yerla lane baru kan..boleh tahan la harga dier, sabtu & ahad RM6 and kasut RM1.50..aku ngan member aku main 3 game seorang..

First game tu kitorang test la buat bola "spin".tp asyik tak jadi je,masuk longkang and jatuh separuh..hahaha..teruk tul la,point 100 pun tak sampai..hehe..nasib baik lane sebelah2 pun tak berapa terer sgt...klu tak memang malu la..pastu kitorang main betul2 utk game 2 and 3..dapatla 167 and 129..tp teruk gakla sebab patutnye leh dpt 180++,cewah cam terer je kan..

Dah abis masuk main,kitorang gerak gi minum kat kedai "Citarasa Azizah" kt Sg Ramal..dekat ngan kondo member aku..aku pekena "Kuey Teow Bandung" ngan "Jus Tembikai"..boleh tahan gak la sedap nyer..tp rasa cam mahal skt la..maybe sebab mangkuk dier besar kot..

nampak sedap tak? RM4 tu..

haus plak rase...