1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered "early".
2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.
3. Weekends start on Thursday.
4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.
7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.
8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.
9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.
10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.
11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.
12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.
13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.
14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.
16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.
17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.
18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.
19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.
20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.
21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.
22. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.
23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.
24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.
25. Quarters are like gold.
26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.
27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...
29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.
30. You ask people what YOU did last night.
31. Certain things are now deemed "Facebook worthy." When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.
32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.
33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
34. You sleep more in class than in your room
35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.
36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.
37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.
38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.
39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.
40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.
41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).
42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.
43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.
44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.
45. Going to the library is a social event.
46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.
47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.
49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.
50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.
51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.
52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.
53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.
54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.
56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.
57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.
58. Most of your T.A.'s are foreign...what's the deal?
59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.
62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.
63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.
64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.
65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.
66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
67. Two words: bike cops.
68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.
69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.
70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.
71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.
72. You've paid bills over $5... in coins.
73. You can't imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ i-pod.
74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "dressy" at certain occasions... like school.
75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.
76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.
77. Your professors speak English... as a second language.
78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.
79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.
80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they're free.
81. Betta fish are like your family.
82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.
83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing...
84. The elevators take forever but you'll wait 10 minutes just so you don't have to climb stairs.
85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they're standing 5 feet away from the door.
86. Showers become more of an issue.
87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.
88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.
89. Class size doubles on exam days.
90. You donate plasma even though you know it's pretty sketchy.
91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.
92. You've bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you're too broke.
93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.
94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it's too cold to walk home.
95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.
96. There's always a "question kid" in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.
97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don't have to wash your own.
98. Laundry is an all-day event.
99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.
100. It's illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.
101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.
102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.
103. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.
104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.
105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.
106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.
107. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.
108. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.
109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.
110. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.
111. You text faster than you type.
112. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.
113. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.
114. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.
115. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.
116. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”
117. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.
118. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..
You Know You're in College When...Maybe True Maybe Not!!!
Funny Q&A, enjoy it!!!
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if
it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a
day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess WHERE it would have bitten?!!!!! !!!!!!!
A: The boyfriend's hand!
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan
removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net...
Corporate Lesson, Read it!!!
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story : - If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story : - If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep and a administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story : - Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: - "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story : - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story : - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net...
Top 5 Smartest Answers, read it!!!...
1) It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
3) A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
4) The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
5) A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..Thnaks to itsmelisa for this funny joke..
Flight Announcement, really funny!!!
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1.From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane."
2.Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
3.After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
4.As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!"
5.After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
6.From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
7."Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."
8."Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
9."As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
10."Last one off the plane must clean it."
11.From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."
12.This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
13.Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
14.An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?"
1.After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
16.Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..Thanks to SiaugauZ for thi nice jokes..
How To Check If Your Man Is A Virgin...
"A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Kuala Lumpur . Before she left, her mother gave her some advice.
"Daughter, when you're in KL and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following requirements Mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', not 'spendthrift' and must be a 'virgin'."
With this advise from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to her kampung to get her mother's blessings to marry.
"Mother, I've met my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?".
Her mother nodded in agreement.
"Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, we shared one room only. Isn't he not spendthrift guy?"
For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern.
"And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin".
"How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked.
"Mmm....his 'that one' is new......still wrapped up in plastic,mum!"
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..Thanks to oucheev..
How to test that who is the intelligent...
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
"Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair!"
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thanks to itsmelisa...
How to properly assess and place your new employee...
Put 400 bricks in a closed room. with all of your new hires and close the door. Leave them alone for 6 hours, then analyze teh situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management .
Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.
*Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thanks to Dark Steno..
Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women!!!
Here are the reasons that proves Beer is Better than Women: rclxm9.gif
1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football. thumbup.gif
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. thumbup.gif
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer. thumbup.gif
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer. thumbup.gif
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. thumbup.gif
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality. thumbup.gif
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. thumbup.gif
26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer. thumbup.gif
27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
28. A beer is always satisfying.
29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it. thumbup.gif
30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
31. A beer does not come with in-laws.
32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.
34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.
35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.
36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party. thumbup.gif
38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought. thumbup.gif
39. Beer won't drive you to drink.
40. You can shoot a beer.
41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.
42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.
43. A tree is good enough for a beer.
44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't. thumbup.gif
45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn. thumbup.gif
46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.
47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily. thumbup.gif
48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning. thumbup.gif
51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.
52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight. thumbup.gif
53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month. laugh.gif
Taken from forum.lowyat.net..thank to b3rnard7...
Things You Don't Want To Hear, During A Surgery!!!
Things that you don't want to hear from the surgeons when they're performing a surgery.
1. Oops!
2. Can't you stop that damn thing from beating!!? It's throwing of my concentration!
3. Could you please pass me the uhhhh....thingie....
4. Hey where did the scapel go?
5. I bet I could remove his heart and put it back in place without killing him.
6. What do you mean he's not here for a sex change operation!!???
7. A liver like this could fetch a hefty sum in the black market you know
8. A blackout!? Darn I can't see a thing, light up the candles
9. Wait, if his kidney is still there, then what's this we've just removed?
10. FIRE!!!EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Taken from forum.lowyat.net..cool forum..
Coca Cola - infos, facts and fictions!!!
I found this very interesting. So, are you a fan of Coke? If yes, then this might interest you!
Infos, facts and fictions or maybe myths….all related to Coca Cola.
1. The color of Coca Cola was originally green!*
2. Coca Cola was originated by a pharmacist (Doctor John Pembert) as a drug to cure depression.
3. Coca Cola once being made from cocaine and also had alcohol in it.
4. Coca Cola was originally made form Coca-leaves (cocaine-plant) and Cola-nuts (which grow in Africa).
5. When coke commercialized, the cocaine and alcohol where left out and the original recipe was replaced by the "7X"-formula.
6. Coke can be used to relieve the sting from Jelly Fish.
7. Coke also can be used to relieve hiccups.
8. Coke can be used as tanning lotion.
9. Coke can be used to make a new photo look antique. Just soak in it!
10. Coke also can be used to remove gum from gum coated hair.
11. The Navy uses Coke to help preserve it's submarines.
12. If you put a can of diet Coca Cola and a can of regular Coca Cola in a swimming pool….. the can of regular Coke will sink, but the can of Diet
Coke will float!
13. Coke can be used to clean ancient bronze coins.
14. Coke is a perfect grout cleaner for tile floors.
15. Coke can remove fishy smell from clothes.
16. Coke can be used to remove oil stains from concrete driveways or garages.
17. Coke can also be used to remove stains from carpet. (Even permanent marker stain)
18. Coke can makes your lawn grass greener.
19. Coke can ease cold symptoms. (Add with some fresh ginger)
20. Uncarbonated cake can heel nauseated.
21. Coke can power up your accumulator (storage battery)
22. Coke can also remove blood stains.
23. Coke can get rid of rats!
24. Coke can clean/remove corrosion (rusting).
25. Coke is used to clean toilet bowl.
Taken from forum.lowyat.net(-br0k3n-)..cool forum...
Strange Happenings In A Hospital,Really funny,must read it!!!!
There was this case in this hospital's
Intensive Care ward where
patients always died in the same bed
on Friday mornings around 9am
regardless of their age, gender,
medical history or medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even
thought that it had to do with
the
supernatural: Why did death occur at
that same bed around the same time
every Friday?
So the doctors decided to go down to
that particular ward to
investigate the cause of the deaths.
Come Friday morning, everyone at the
hospital ward nervously waited for
the terrible phenomenon to occur
again. The new (unknowing) patient
laid there.
Some doctors held wooden crosses,
prayer books and other holy objects
to ward off evil...and they waited.
8am, the patient was still alive...
8.30am...still breathing...
Just before the 'cursed' time, the
door to the ward swung open...
Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday
cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life
support system so that she can use the
vacuum cleaner..
Interview Gone Wrong, A Must See!!!
Watch the clip, pay no mind on the title....
Fakta Pemain Bolasepak Piala Dunia 2006, lawak gak!!!
1. Pemain paling banyak meludah di padang = Florent Malouda - France
2. Pemain paling suka makan lepat = Frank Lampard - England
3. Pemain yang menguruskan 3 pos ofis = Helder Postiga - Portugal
4. Pengurus pasukan yang suka berlari = Luis Philipe Scolari - Portugal
5. Pemain yang main bolasepak dan ping-pong = Razak Pimpong - Ghana
6. Pemain bolasepak juga kawan baik Batman = Robin ho - Brazil
7. Pemain bolasepak yang juga macam Batman = Mathias Kezman - Serbia Montenegro
8. Pemain yang tak pernah miss bayar bil = Adabayour - Togo
9. Pemain yang main bolasepak dan biola = Saviola - Argentina
10 . Pemain bolasepak yang paling manis = Maniche - Portugal
11 . Pemain yang selalu terluka di padang = Luca Toni - Italy
Lessons in Logic,Think about it???
I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.
Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody's perfect……
So why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
What more can I say……..
Taking leave, funny!!!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"
(You're gonna love this.....)
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."
Father & His Son, funny!!!
A father is teaching simple maths to his 5 yr old son.
Father, "Son, how many people are there in your classroom?"
Son, "Including the teacher, 31."
Father, "So without the teacher, there are 30 people left in the classroom?"
Son, "Nope! Without the teacher, there will be NO one left in the classroom!"
The dad was lost for words.
8 Ways to scare a telemarketer...
Very useful article!!!
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